Time

One year three months on… going through the pictures taken… the memories stuck in my tiny brain just made me wonder what did I get out of all these hurt and pain I had gone thru..

Did I get what I initially wanted out of this?

So what if I had?

Am I happy?

Went to wala a few nites back… somehow the feeling of good and high is gone. Still remember those times when I used to go there almost everyweek, listening to the band.. feeling good and happy.. somehow that night, the feeling just dint come thru. They sang ‘time is running out’ and it used to be my fav. Again, that night, I thought they sang it so lousily. Does all these equate that as time passes, feelings fade..emotions fade…memories fade…. Everything just fade away… and it may seem that everything god damn thing in your world is gray.

Perhaps the bottomline is that everything will come to a standstill as times passes. So what about people telling me and saying time will heal everything, when all it does is to fade away the memories……. It does not heal.. you simply just forget about it.. erased from your brain, till the day a trigger comes by to ignite that spark which leads to the remembrance of all the pain.

Every day is going through the motion of life.

Just let the mind and thoughts be as how and where they are for now and forever. It’s no good being different and no use trying. Being yourself is good enough. Fuck it, the world don’t need any more losers.

Committment

More often than not, we have too high expectations of our partners. And why is that so?? Is it because he/she is the most important person (at least for that moment in your life)? Is it because you can take he/she for granted at ease?? Or is it to fill your own void?? And that there needs to be that someone to be there for you, no matter what, whatever the fuck problem is, big or small. Human beings are just selfish creatures. All for himself/herself. Who cares the fuck for others?? Words are cheap, dirt cheap.

There was once I read about an article in the papers about commitment in a relationship. The writer asked : What is commitment in a relationship? What does one wants to draw out of commitment?? Is commitment too big a word?? Does commitment equates marriage or just exclusivity?

These questions made me ponder… yeah.. commitment does equates to exclusivity in a huge way. Everything that the fellow does or does not do, has to be because of YOU! So my theory of Me, Myself and only Me stands hahaha. Isn’t that exclusive?? Marriage?? What is marriage? Marriage is putting yourself under unnecessary stress. It is FORCING yourself to put in that additional effort to make things work by signing on a stupid piece of paper. Com’on is things will and can work, why need to sign on that piece of paper???

Then I met an overseas friend and he was telling me about “requirements of being my partner”. I was like, oh really?? Meaning to say, in order to be one’s wife or husband, that person has to fufill that certain number of prerequisites… then after marriage, realized that, FUCK. That person does not meet all those requirements, then there comes regrets… hurt… confusion…. Hatred…. And maybe finally divorce………

Why does it hurt so much to be alive? And the ironic thing is, the moment before you die, it probably does hurt the most as well………. And doesn’t that make life and death both hurtful?

Protection. It is about protecting yourself from getting hurt.
Prevention. It is about preventing yourself from getting hurt.
Procrastinate. It is about always procrastinating about getting things done, and when not, get hurt..

Communication

Communication is considered to be the greatest difficulty in all interpersonal relationships. It’s funny how when we understand or even try to understand and know the different ways in which each temperament looks a the world, by adapting our communication style or the way we communicate, we will be able to achieve the meeting of minds.

But ask ourselves, how many times can we do that? How often do we do that? It’s just plain difficult.

There is wonderful rule in effective interpersonal relationship called the “Ultimate Golden Rule”

Do Unto Others, What You Would Like Others To Do Unto You

This is a wonderful principle in that it takes into consideration other peoples’ feelings, likes and dislikes. More often than not, we are always thinking for ourselves all the time , the Ultimate Golden Rule causes us to consciously think how our actions and words will affect and impact others. But Fuck it again. Everyone in this world is applying the approach of me, myself and only me. Since our instincts are always for self-preservation, the Ultimate Golden Rule teaches us to weigh out thoughts and behaviour in the context of causing hurt to others, the same way we would not want to be hurt.

Thus, there is "Ultimate Golden Rule II":

Do Unto Others, What They Want To Be Done Unto Them

This will teach us that after we have weighed our thoughts and actions in not hurting others: to be flexible and relevant to others whom we are trying to communicate to.

Sounds “Deep”???? Just some funky thoughts they came to me…..

After so much said, I am and still will be a sucker at this big word call Communication.