Who Am I?

I've made it past the anniversary. Am I happy? Or am I disappointed with myself? Well, at least I'm out of the den, the den which I'd seen evil, and the ugly truth of how human beings can be.

Out of a den, and here I jump into another in the same dessert. Will it be another lion's den? I'd learnt each for your own survival. Trust no one but yourself and think, think, think and think before you do anything or say anything. Say nice and sweet words, you never know when you will eat it. How true.

Life's been a whirlwind recently with many many unhappy events happening. To a point whereby I'm not sure if I can be the self-perceived strong gal who can deal with anything that comes her way. It seems that my world is crumbling down, and I badly need a pillar of strength to hold on to, turning to find none. I began to realize that I had lost many precious things in life, things that I can never get back. Lost moments which can only be re-lived in the deepest of my memory.

Two days ago, a friend told me that regret is the worst emotion that one can go through. Do you think so? I say the feeling of heart ache is the even worse.. It is funny how I can keep encouraging the people around me to be happy and live for the moment when I myself is stucked in the quicksand, slowly drowning. How was I able to do it? I really do not know. Knowing is easy, understanding is an art and applying requires skill.

All I know is I'm really feeling very tired.. Tired of being misunderstood, tired of facing reality, tired of the things happening around me, tired of the people around me, and tired of MYSELF. Tired of how I can be a fool, how I can be silly and not determine. Where has my old self go?

Dead.

Who am I?

A filial daughter? A caring and understanding lover? A loyal friend? A lovely sister? A helpful colleague?

I'm just a selfish bitch.